I'm writing because it's my baby Miracle Shanaya Praveen's birthday today, yahooo! She was born at 9.59 a.m. on April 23 year 2020, weighing 2.8 kg and being full term. She breathes this earth for three hours before departing to be with Jesus, her creator. This day commemorates the joy of being pregnant and the fulfillment of becoming a mother for the first time. The delight of holding my baby and hearing her cry aloud three times. The pleasure of admiring God's creations, the soft skin, pinky skin, rosy lips, feather-like fingers and toes.....
At the same time, I felt the pain of separation, the pain of the cesarean section, the pain of the traumatic experience, the pain that life is unfair, the pain that God did not answer my prayer, the pain of feeling guilty, the pain of thinking of ways I could have saved her, and all the other raging and shocking sensations.
Thus, I went through enough grief and the process to arrive at this point, where I am looking for Meaning.... Today, I'd rather celebrate her birth than lament her absence. I choose to remember all of the wonderful times I had with her in the womb. I choose to thank God that she is not in pain as a result of her circumstances, and I choose to thank God that she is happy in heaven.
As parents, nothing compares to the joy of God celebrating her birthday in heaven. I choose to share her joy in my life by blessing those in need. By rejoicing for my baby Miracle, I choose to turn my day of despair into a day of resurrection.
The good news is that I will see her again in heaven one day.
Today, I'd like to share my joy with the WHOLE WORLD. I want my child to be my joy, pride, and strength. As a birthday present, my husband and I will release helium balloons and cut a tiny cake for her today. I'll be making Miracle brownies (another chapter to emerge) and distributing them to an orphanage. The same God who made me feel helpless has inspired me to practice sacrificial love, just as he gave his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. I am grateful to God for rescuing me from depression and oppression and teaching me how to turn my sorrows into joy.
To every dear Mom who has a heavenly baby, I pray that God will help you turn every sorrow into joy and that you will not be in despair but will rise to rejoice with your babies.
I adore you all.
SujiPeace
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Hi Peace, This is an impactful piece of inspiration to overcome grief and depression. I can see the multitudes this writing will touch and encourage. Thanks!
God bless you and be with you Sujutha! May he continue to give you the strength to do so much more. You story is so inspirational. I cannot fathom or even imagine what you have been through but you are truly living what it means to be storm proof and not storm free. Hugs